Testing:1,2,3

Its not me its you................

Really? because in all actuality, I really do in fact think its you but I'm just saying its me to make the breakup a little easier..............

Did I confuse anyone with that random ass intro? Good, haha.

I was thinking about this after having a brief textvo (textvo= text conversation) with my ex. He randomly texted me out of the blue the other day and asked:

"On a scale of 1 to 10, compared to the sex you get now, how would you have rated me in bed?"

My response:

"a 5.....a 6.5 when you were drunk." <
So anyway, he goes on and he's asking me if I'm in a relationship (I tell him yes even though Im really not) and he's asking me questions and being nosy about everything. I definitely should have ended the textvo early in the probing but I didn't. He has this manipulative way about him and I can never seem to break away once Ive been engaged. So anyway, he asks me if I miss him and I say NO. So then he goes on to say, "well that's fine, but just know that this current relationship wont last and he'll eventually break your heart and you'll want me back.So just remember all the shit you texted me..........."

And that was it. I was baffled. And I had so badly wanted to know why he would say my "current" relationship wouldn't last......was it something he knew about myself that I didn't? Then I started thinking, maybe it was me....... he was my first serious relationship and even still the relationship only lasted a little under two years. The rest have lasted 1 or 2 months. And Ive also noticed that I have a hard time continuing interest in someone. Its weird and its definitely NOT normal. And he's mentioned something about my future relationships not lasting a while ago when we together but I didnt pay him any mind........but now he's got me wondering.

There is always an underlining reason or cause of something and perhaps there is a reason why i have yet to be in a successful relationship that lasts longer than two years...........*shrug* im not worried about it......i have too much going on right now to even be thinking about being in a relationship. Between school and work, i barely have time for friends....however, if im 30 and im still not in a stable relationship or married THEN I know I have a problem! Playing the field is cool for now, but i would hate to be some bitter 30 year old woman whining about not being married. *shivers at the possibility*

Ugh....i hate my ex.

Wow.....really T-Pain?

So I'm pretty sure you all have seen this recent picture of T-Pain with a chain on that has a big ass charm on it that says "Big Ass Chain". Now, Im all for spending your hard earned money on what you please, but this shyt right here? Is fuckin' ridiculous. First off, supposedly this chain cost $419,000.............riiiiiiiiiiight. I totally find that statement and figure to be factually FALSE. But even it it did, that chain couldn't possibly be encrusted with real diamonds because that amount of diamonds would definitely cost a hell of a lot more than a half of mil. Second of all, how do you have a charm that says "Big Ass Chain" when its your charm that's big? Third of all, why? And fourth of all, you are a fool.

Apparently his reasoning behind buying this "dumb shit" (his words not mine) is because he is able to do it and because his family is well taken care of.........interesting. This is exactly why rappers become broke and file for bankruptcy 10 years later................

And no I'm not 'hating' off of him. Without his fans, the same people who are probably jobless or making minimum wage, he wouldn't have the money to buy his "Big Ass Chain". I mean, really T-Pain, if you don't know what to do with your money, here's a suggestion: During one of your concerts, throw money into the audience. OR, have a scholarship raffle or some shyt I mean SOMETHING! Got damn! This shyt is stupid! What the hell is wrong with black folk? A regular necklace, ring, or bracelet would have been perfectly fine and normal. No one would have said SHYT. But because this COON had to go and buy a big ass charm with the words "Big Ass Chain" attached, it just made his investment look and seem extremely stupid. This entire ordeal reminds me of a verse Keri Hilson said on the remix to Soulja Boys 'Turn My Swagg on'- "You can buy you a chain but you cant buy respect.........." I have officially lost ALL respect for this dude.

My favorite artists at the moment

Kid Kudi, The Fray, and Jerimiah are definitely on my hit list. Im a music buff and listen to all genres and I am loving these three at the moment. Check them out.

Thats Right Ladies Get Mad at the Female.......

Not. Now some of you all know you need to stop.Here's a perfect example:


So its this guy that has been checking for me every since I moved down here. He's a friend of a friend of one of my homegirls and had asked for my number.So I gave it to him because he was a cool dude and he was very persistent. Mind you all we texted each other back and forth ONCE. I never called him and he never called me.So I'm talking to my homegirl tonight and to my surprise I see his name on my caller ID.At first I wasn't going to answer but my homegirl told me to see what he had to say. I click over and all I hear is a bird saying so and so is her man and that I need to never call him again. But before she could finish talking a bunch of nut shyt I clicked over and left it at that.


It amazed me because for one, HE tried to holla at ME. Two, We NEVER called eachother. And three, why was she mad at me? I wasn't her boyfriend.And I wasn't the one with text messages from another girl (which by the way people weren't even about shit). But all in all I figured he liked drama and tried to hype it up to be more than what it was. Shyt I don't know. But ladies, stop getting on the other women in your mans life. Check HIM first before going off on the other girl because for 1) The other woman may not know he even HAS a girlfriend. 2) You're just going to make yourself look stupid. And 3) Its not the girls fault your man wants to creep.


Now there are some women out there who don't give a fuck and take pride in being a jump off but even still, they're the wrong ones to be checking.

I'll give a pass for the ladies who need to check a female because she's persistent in her attempt to make someone elses man cheat but other than that, NO.


We need to stop. A man will only do as much as you allow him to do and if he's cheating on you and you find out but all you do is call the mistress up and curse her out and forgive him, then all he's going to do is cheat on you again because he KNOWS there won't be any REAL consequences.Hell just leave or break up with his ass. And if he truly cares he'll stop what he's doing and solely be with you.


The entire ordeal was halarious.And even after the fact, 3hrs later to be exact, he texts me and says 'don't text my phone anymore cuz my girl don't like that'. I didn't even bother to respond. It was ridiculous. But the guy was kinda young and seemed a bit immature so shame on me. I try to give the young fellas a chance but most of them act like fools. Older men is where its at,lol. Peace yall.

First time at a gay club....

And had a blast! I'm not gay but I do have a friend who is and he invited me to a gay club that he often frequents in Charlotte. There were gay women and men and straight women and men?(Lol) but the entire environment was so welcoming and fun! I really enjoyed myself. In fact, this was probably the first club that I've really let loose at.

I'm loving North Carolina and this is just the beginning! Summer is right around the corner yall!lol. Can't wait! Now I'm gonna go sleep this buzz off.Your girls an alchi but I didn't go over board this time because I wanted to take the whole experience in.

Good night people.

Riddle Me This.......

So I was over at one of my favorite blogs, youknowyoudeadazzwrong, and there was a post Mo put up that portrayed a very.......interesting looking female in a wedding dress, and I as I was reading the comments I noticed that a couple of the chicks were commenting and basically asking how the hell was she getting wifed up looking the way that she does when they're cute and havent even gotten a porposal yet?lol. So I emailed the link to my homegirl and she's like "wow, and I bet her husband is attractive. Why the hell am I still single? Im sexy, independant, and make my own money." And a lot of females feel like this. We look at some women that are with handsome or attractive men and think "how in the hell did she get him?"lol. Hell we are ALL guilty of it. But what we fail to realize is that maybe its us. And I dont necessarily mean that in a bad way but as my friend was saying how she couldnt understand why SHE was still single because of how independant and attractive she was, something had suddenly caught my attention. Not one time did she state how much of a kind, giving, respectble, sincere, and honest person she was (all of which are true). All she basically did was speak on her material worth. It it amazed me because yes I believe a lot of men do in fact like independant women but if your own car and money is the only thing your're bringing to the table, then what? It was as if she felt entitled to have a man who wants to marry her soley based off of material worth and that should never be the case. A woman should feel like she deserves a man because of her good heart and her readiness to have an actual meaningful relationship. Not because of what she has. Besides, flaunting all our material possesions around may get us caught up in a relationship where the man starts to take advantage. I see it all the time on Judge Mathis, some chick loaned her boyfriend $500. He says it was a gift, she said it was a loan- even though we all know that it only became a loan AFTER they broke the hell up,lol. Yall Im just rambling and its all just food for thought,lol. But fellas what do you think? Is a woman's Independant-NESS(yes, I know that is not a word)what initially attracts you to a female next to her looks? Would a woman who has her own be enough to make you want to propose?lol.

Have You Ever Known or Met a Crazy Bitch?

Please check out this video of one of my favorite female commedians Vanessa Fraction, this shit puts a smile on my face everytime :)

Men: Just Being Down 'There' is NOT Enough!lol

To all the men who enjoy going 'downtown' I applaud you! But I want to get real. My girl friends were over earlier and we were talking about men and our experiences with them when it came to oral sex. Now, there were four of us and a couple of them are some straight up ho's (LMAO) and each of us had said that we had only had ONE person really work his tongue the right way down there! I'll give you my own experience. I once had a guy go down on me but all he did was lick.....up and down.........up and down. And it was kind of like "ooook, can I get a little variety please?" and it wasnt like I wasn't fresh (lol) because he had did this for almost a damn hour and at the time I wasnt the type to hurt anyones feelings so I faked the whole experience! Yes i gave him the "ohhh's", "ahh's", and "ohh baby yeah thats it" when I really wanted to say "OMIGAWD just get from down there PLEASE!" He was a boring tongue pleaser. He didnt know how to work his tongue the correct way. There was no sucking, french kissing, or light nibbling at all! There was NOTHING! He obviously didnt watch the pornos where men were filmed giving head because there was absolutely no excuse for that!Just like you all like your dicks to be sucked a certain way (i.e. no teeth or dry hands), we like our pussies to be licked a certain away also. All I ask fellas is for you to try putting yourself in her shoes the next time you give head because just being down there IS NOT enough!

They say its wrong to hold a grudge.........

But my sister has undoubtly pissed me off so bad that I no longer want anything to do with her. I already have built up animosity towards her from the disrespectful way she use to treat my dad when she was younger but some of the things shes been doing and saying lately has really been pissing me off. Im going to get a little personal but this was the purpose of this blog, to express my thoughts. After my father passed I moved in with my sister and everything was cool at first and I had gotten a job so that I could save up for my own apartment, but after awhile she starting saying I was just using her and that I needed to start paying rent. Completely understandable but I mean seriously, I was young and saving to be on my own and paying her rent wasnt something I had wanted to do if I was trying to save and she knew that. But I eventually moved out. And not only because she was always throwing in my face the fact that she was allowing me to live rent free but also because she continuoulsy accused me of sleeping with her deadbeat babies father.

So here we are, almost a year later. Ive relocated to North Carolina and she's still back in Pennsylvania and she's always calling me to tell me how much of an asshole her babys father is. Also, she admitted to me that she paid his rent a few times and that she gives him money every so often but yet and still he still continues to be an asshole. Now my thoughts after really sitting down and thinking about everything is that I cant beleieve she had the nerve to say I was using her when this nygga is CLEARLY using her nut ass for everything she's got! And did I mention she bought him a cheap $2000 car? Meanwhile she had once continously accused me, her flesh and blood, of using her?! Mind you all- I would watch her kids, buy my own damn food, and I was hardly ever there because I was working double shifts at the time!

But what really puts the icing on the cake is that she recently just called me a couple of days ago and asked me if her babies dad called me. When I proceeded to ask why, she stated that he had said something to her that made her think we were still keeping in contact............

That was it for me. I told her to never call me again with this bullshit because I didnt have time and I had other important things to worry about and hung up on her.

The thing that bothers me about women is that some of us cant take a damn hint or let something that OBVIOUSLY isnt healthy for us go! We allow some men to use, abuse, and treat us any ol' type of way and still stay with him while in the process, alientating relationships and making ourselves look like FOOLS!

My sister is a dumb ass. She's dumb for not listening to my father when he told her to leave her babys father alone BEFORE he got her pregnant. She's dumb for basically SUPPORTING his ass by buying him cars and paying his rent, and she was dumb ass hell for calling me and questioning if i was keeping in contact with him. Now I dont want to sound conceited or anything but he's not even on my level and she's seen the guys i usually date and for her to even THINK i would be interested in her babys father is an insult to me.

But Im done with her. I made it my business to cut the bullshit out of my life in 2009 and she had been the exception but now its a WRAP. Shes too old to be on the same shit shes been on for YEARS.

Day 26's Album is Hot

If you all aren't familiar with Day 26, please make yourself aware of them,lol. They are so underrated and they really dont get the recognition they deserve. I can't sleep (got a lot on my mind) and right now I'm listening to their debuting self titled album Day 26 and I love it. Their album is definitely an album one can listen to from start to finish. Please check out their album if you havent already done so. And if you have, what do you think of it?

Here are my top 5 songs on the album:

*Are We In This Together

*Co Star

*Dont Fight This Feeling

*If It Wasn't For You

*What It Feels Like

Limewire them if your're too damn cheap to buy them off of Itunes(hey I don't judge,lol)

Black Bike Week May 22- May 25

Ive heard a lot of great things about Black Bike Week that happens every year in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and this year will be my first year going! I'm so excited! And Black Bike Week isn't just for African Americans or people with motorcycles only, its for everyone- regardless of race. If you guys would like more info here's the link BLACK BIKE WEEK Check it out! And let me know if you've been there before!

Happy EASTER everyone!

Happy Easter to all! Update on me, I have officially relocated and I absolutely LOVE it down here! Please, if there is something you want to do- do it. Never let anything or anyone stop you from achieving your goals. I know its easy to allow things to get in your way and prevent you from doing your thing but never mind that! Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and do what you need to do to get what you want! So I have compiled a list of SIX things we all need to learn to do. And they are..........


1) Never Let Anyone NEGATIVELY Influence Your Decisions

2) Never Give Up

3) Learn From Your Mistakes

4) Cut The Bullshit Out of Your Life

5) Look Forward Not Backward

6) Every Once In Awhile Say "Fuck It" Because You Only Live Once



Peace Everyone!

My future relationship resume.......

I speak with a lot of different guys who seem to say the exact same thing about ALL women: that we don't know what we really want. Understandably, we have to admit ladies that sometimes we say we want one thing but once we get it, we find out that its not really what we were looking for. For example, I once said I wanted a guy who was rough around the edges but soon after, I realized his ass was a little too rough and that wasn't what I was looking for nor was it something I had wanted at the time.

We've all said this before, if I could just take certain personalities and characteristics from different guys and put them all into that one perfect guy then that would be great! However, theres no such thing as a perfect guy and if that's what you're looking for- have fun chasing a fallacy.

I have compiled a list of basic things I would prefer my significant other to have and the reasoning behind it below:


1. A car- It is the year 2009 and easy as hell to get a car nowadays. Besides, I have a car and I barley like playing taxi for some of my closest friends so why the hell would i want to enjoy playing taxi for a grown ass man? However, the exceptions to this are 1) you had a car before we met and its in the shop for some reason. or 2) you're working and saving up towards purchasing one.

2. A job- Granted that if you are in college trying to do big things in the near future upon graduation, a job isn't really that necessary. But if you're jobless AND aren't about shyt, then theres a problem. And I refuse to be a grown mans sugar momma.

3. The ability to not have to lie ALL the damn time- Now this is a big one because I understand men will be men and sometimes they don't understand that telling the truth about certain things isn't really a bad thing. But I had this issue with a guy I use to deal with. He lied. Constantly. About every, little, thing! And the crazy thing was that I had grew to the point to KNOW when he was lying.

4. A great humorous personality- I love to laugh and I would ultimately prefer someone who had the ability to make me do so.


See, this list wasn't too in depth or specific. Notice I didn't say 'well, i like my men dark and over 6 ft' or 'he gotta have perfect teeth' because really, Ive had friends fall head over heels for guys who didn't fit their "original description" of their perfect guy.

Also ladies, I don't think its right to require a man to have something YOU don't have. If your azz is pushing' your left and right Nike's to the Bus Stop and towards a cab, you have absolutely NO RIGHT to say that a man has to have a car if he wants to get with you!

Happy being the other woman??? Girl Stop

Check out this chicks long azz drawn out excuse as to WHY she has absolutely NO problem being the "other" woman (over here at Necole Bitchie) and that she is actually happy being a jumpoff (*side eye*) girl stop! You should never feel happy or proud to be the jumpoff of a man who is involved with someone else! Is she kidding me? Like seriously, I wish I knew this girl because I'd do the honor of slapping the shyt out of her myself! First of all, thats how diseases are passed around. Second of all, that bytch need to switch roles and imagine how SHE would feel if her man was cheating on her with someone else. And THIRD of all, being a jumpoff is never cool. Period. Been there, done that. Like seriously, is the supply of men really THAT fuckin' short? And this is the main reason men cheat. With women like her allowing men to have their cake and eat it too, shyt aint NEVER gonna change. C'mon women, stop it......now.

Rescheduled the test.....

So I rescheduled my CNA test in North Carolina. I hope I pass the damn thing! My goodness. Ive been waiting to take this test for almost two months. I have been being lazy though yall,lol. I couldve been took the damn test. I need to stop with this procrasination shyt.......NOT cool.

Wow, time sure does fly......

It seems like it was just yesterday that I created my last blong entry but its been damn near almost a month since Ive actually posted! Damn time goes by fast.

The "At Least" factor........(theres just some shyt you MUST overlook)

I love commedian Vanessa Fraction. I think she's funny as hell and real.

A few of my girlfriends are single and are always complaining about how they cant find a man. So in this clip, Vanessa joked about how if women were less picky when in their pursuit of men, then they'd find one. The "At least" factor should come into full effect when trying to find a man,lol. Watch the clip below to see what I mean,lol.

Skeptical about friend

Every female has that ONE friend that they wouldn't DARE trust around their man. As for me, I have a friend named "Ashley" who Ive been friends with for damn near six years. She's hella cool and we are exactly alike............however, I wouldn't trust that girl around my man if my life depended on it!lol. Shes a HUGE flirt, and I would notice that whenever we would go out on double dates when we were in high school, she'd flirt with MY date by bending over and brushing up against him, touching his arm, you knowm typical ho flirting shyt. So since then, I've stopped really bringing any guy friends around for her to meet.

But anyway, we have a mutual friend "Tonya" that we really aren't that close with but we're all cool. Tonya has a boyfriend and they all work together. So my friend Ashley has been going to lunch with Tonya's boyfriend and talking on the phone alot with him lately. Now in the back of my mind im thinking "why? that's NOT your man". But I keep my thoughts to myself. So last night, Ashley calls me and confesses that shes sexually attracted to our mutual friends boyfriend and that she wants to fuck him. I side eyed that phone with a quickness. The NERVE of that ho!Messing with a girl who you are not friends with man is one thing, but wanting to fuck the boyfriend of the same friend you hang out with on the regular is another. That's wrong! But she likes him and want to fuck him and apparently, he likes her and want to fuck her too because he invited her over to his house to "chill" this weekend. Hmpf.

This bytch has proved my theory that she is a ho that can NOT be trusted around other females boyfriends. Out of all the men in our area she chooses her friends boyfriend?! Poor Tonya, she's so oblivious too. If we were closer Id say something, but Im not minding anyones business. What happens in the dark will soon come to light any damn way.

Is tipping really necessary?

Whenever I go out to eat I always feel like I am FORCED to tip the waitress. I mean, I know its always good to tip and whatnot but sometimes I don't feel like they really deserve a tip. Besides, its their job. They get paid to do what they do. It may not be much but hey, if somone is depending upon tips to get them by then I would suggest for them to find another job. Maybe Im being too harsh but from now on, the most any waiter or waitress will get from me is 2 or 3 dollars. Five dollars at the MOST if their service is superb.

I lost my wallet!!!!!!!!

I lost my wallet yall! Which sucks azz because I had all my important shyt in it INCLUDING my social security card! I just pray to God no one tries to use it or anything. But anyway, losing my wallet was a major setback for me. I needed my social security card to have entry into my CNA test in North Carolina tommorow so guess who wont be going? Im hella pissed. But there are always bumps in the road and I am just going to apply for a new social security card, reschedule the test, and go on about my business,lol. I cant let this stop me nor discourage me.

Some men are such DOGS!

Now Im not bashing ALL men, just the men who KNOW their asses arent any good!

So theres this older guy I work with, he's in his early 30's. He's a real cool dude. He's funny, makes me laugh (not too many guys can do that), we talk and whatnot while on the job, etc. *clears throat* He has a tongue ring right? And Imma keep it real, Ive always wondered what it would be like to get ate out by a GUY with a tongue ring (Im not a lesbian even though I have absolutely NOTHING against those who are) and seeing his gave me hope to one day have the oppurtunity to experience it,lol. He's cute and he doesnt look as old as he is.

So anyway, I inquired about his tongue ring one day and he kept it real and told me that he enjoyed giving oral sex and had gotten the tongue ring to enhance the experience,lol. Cool. So EVERY SINCE I ASKED HIS AZZ ABOUT THAT TONGUE RING, he's been doing the little tongue between the two fingers thing and saying little shyt on the sly about giving me the best head i'll ever have in my life, etc, etc. MIND YOU, he has a girl/wife(hell, I dont know what the fuck she is to him)that he lives with and THREE kids.

Now, if this isnt some shyt. He's practically begging me to let him give me head (and I know his ass wants to fuck me too, but uhh NOT HAPPENIN'!)and he has a whole girl at home?! How does a man come to work every day and flirt and say all types of provocative shyt to another female and then go home and kiss his girl with that same mouth?!lol. I dont know what to say about his azz. I mean, why be in a relationship if you dont really want to settle down? I know for a FACT that if I gave him the green light to give me head and do it to me, his azz would be all for it and cheat.

SMH, a damn shame. What the f*ck is wrong with our men? Do they have no shame?

Stop ruining it for the rest of us you ungrateful bytches!

LOL! So I have a new roommate (who just happens to be a very handsome guy in the Marines by the way) and he's is ultimately the sweetest guy I have EVER fuggin' met in my life! I mean, Im not in love with him or anything but I just think he is such a great guy. Anyways, he has three kids by two different women. BOTH of those bytches are ungrateful as hell! He married the girl with his two kids but divorced her because he said she was ungrateful and didnt appreciate him buying a house for them, paying all the bills, and basically supporting her non working azz (given that she was a stay at home mom I guess) BUT still, how the fuck you gonna be complaining and aint got a damn job? THEN, his other babies mother was a mistake(It happens, we all make "mistakes",lol) and he says she's just a gold diggin bytch whos extremely immature.

So tonight I was talking to him and he was like "yeah, from now on Im not giving any more girls my all."

Thanks you selfish bytches. Thanks for crushing this GOOD poor mans spirit! But he was stupid as hell yall,lol. They seen he was in the Marines and had a good head on his shoulders and trapped his azz!lol.

But in all seriousness it happens. We give that "one" our all and basically do whatever for them only to be SHYTED on in return. This results in us entering other relationships with caution (which is cool, nothing wrong with that)but we limit ourselves and pass on giving that special one our all- the one who actually DESERVES it and would appreciate it- for fear of being hurt.

Im gonna be real, I dont really trust too many guys. I always feel like they have a hidden agenda or are trying to be players. With me having a good amount of guy friends who are constantly talking about which chick sucked their dick yesterday and with me being in that so called relationship I was in, who could blame my azz?! lol

My workplace is about to get shut DOWN!

Which is too bad because it could be a really good place but the people who are running shyt are complete airheads! The state is supposed to be comming any day now to do an inspection and if shyt isnt right, its a wrap!

First of all, they dont have enough staff.

Second of all, their heads are so high up in the air that their really not worrying about whats going on down at the lower level.

Shyt is SOOO unorganized. Let me tell you about this wacky ass Human Resources Director who is in charge of the scheduling; The byth cant perform her job correctly, PERIOD! I had told her troll looking azz that I needed off the last weekend in January because I was going out of town (North Carolina to be exact) and she said ok. Mind you, this was something I had planned BEFORE I was hired so there shouldnt have been any problems right? WRONG. I checked that damn schedule today and this nut azz bytch put me on for the EXACT same days I requested off for. WTF? I was hella pissed and when I confronted her about it she stated it was a mistake, BULLSHYT. She fucks up everyones schedule and I have a feeling someone will be calling me that weekend asking me why Im not at work because Im on the schedule. It never fails. This has happened three times since Ive been working for this company. It irks the hell out of me to get a phone call on my day off from some supervisor at my job. I dont want to be bothered with yall on my day OFF! Ugh! They really need to get their shyt together because this and a host of other shyt that happens there on a regular is unnecessary.

Ok, Im done ranting, thanks for reading,lol.

The weekend is nearing

And I can't wait! I'm off and this weekend and I'm just gonna chill with friends and go see a couple of movies.Nothing major.

So I finally moved out.........

No I haven't moved to Charlotte YET but I did move out of my sisters apartment. We were beginning to argue waaaay too much and I always felt like I was on pins and needles when I was around her. She's cool and I love her to death but her constantly accusing me of sleeping with her dead beat baby's daddy and her paranoia was really starting to irk the hell out of me. Not too mention there was some illegal shyt going on that I could no longer be apart of,lol. Anyway, I have a roommate now. Its cool, he's cute (lol), and everything seems cool for now but he seems like he has a smart ass mouth,lol. But I wont jump to conclusions or make assumptions so I'm just gonna keep my thoughts to myself for now. But I honestly don't think this is going to work out (thank God Im not locked down with a lease)but I'll keep you posted.

Why is it so hard to stay faithful and commited?

My coworkers and I are having this discussion about why is it hard for people, particuliarly guys, to stay faithful? There can be different answers to this question and here is mine:

Men, particuliarly black men,are at the top of the food chain. Period. They're getting pussy thrown at them from all different races of women. Some feel like there's something better out there and choose to 'explore' their options instead of just sticking with one girl and REALLY getting to know her and finding out if she's truly the right one. This is where the whole 'you never know what you got until its gone' notion comes from.

This is just MY theory and does NOT reflect the thoughts of others,lol. What do you think? Why is it so hard for men (and women) to stay commited and faithful to their significant other? I mean, why be with that person if your're not willing to give yourself to that person 100%?

"Silly of me" by Deniece Williams

This is an old school song but its definitely my shyt! I think every girl has been involved with a guy who basically played the shyt out of her. Its cool! And its nothing to be ashamed of!lol. You live and you learn. After I stopped dealing with a guy I was involved with (sexually that is) for almost two years, listening to this song would put tears in my eyes. That's how dead on the message was. I couldn't count the number of times that little voice in my head would tell me to "let his ass go!" But I continuosly made excuses as to why I would keep around."Valentines day is 3 months away" and "My birthday is coming up" were just two of the SEVERAL excuses I would make up.

Life lesson # 1- Listen to your gut and that little voice in your head that tells you right from wrong.

There's really no need to go into anymore details about my so called "relationship", just check out the song for yourself. Can anyone else relate to the song in some way?

Money isn't everything......

But then again it is. Every since I got this job I've been working myself half to death! Thank God for blackberrys and the internet because without it I'd go insane! Right now I'm at work working a double shift and I'm asking myself "why the hell am I working so much?" I'm missing out on so much shyt. My friend is home for the weekend from college and she had wanted to hang out and go peep that new movie 'Notorious' but guess what I was doing? Working. I think I'm afraid of being broke or something. The Lord knows that when I was younger there were days when I wouldn't eat. Seriously. Yes my dad did the best he could but being a single father with three kids to raise with one income was hard and I vowed to NEVER live that way again. I guess that's where my money hungryness comes from. I can even be carless with it sometimes- which is definitely not cool. Anyway, I ultimately hope that one day I'll be able to chill and not work so much while still pulling in a good income. This degree I'm pursuing in Health Administration can be my stepping stone towards that goal. Money definitelty doesn't make me happy but it sure as hell can buy the things that do!lol. Let me stop.

Everything happens for a reason?

Has anyone ever wanted to really do something but found themselves doubting their judgement? How about, have you ever really wanted to do something but had all types of obstacles and bullshyt get in your way- preventing you from doing what you want or feel you need to do? Well I have. I'm going through that shyt as I type! Sometimes it feels like no matter how much I throughly plan out shyt that I want to get done, there is always a bump in the road or obstacle I must get over. That itself results in me second guessing myself, plans, and actions. I am honestly afraid of failure and doing the wrong thing. I've made so many bad decisions in my life that I often find myself second guessing my decisions and judgement. So how can I resolve this issue that I have within myself? Being afraid and never taking risks seems like the fire proof way to go. But then I wouldn't be living my life, They say God has a plan for us and that if things are meant to be they'll happen. But I'm still wondering what my plan is. Should I just do my regular thing everyday and go to work, come home, hang out with some friends, and talk on the phone all the while hoping that one day, just one day something will just up and happen that will change my life on its own? OR should I MAKE shyt happen and take the risk of failing or losing out?

Crackberrys are the shyt!

I am loving this Blackberry Curve I got from t-mobile. Its definitely hot and addictive!I'm constantly on this shyt. Checking my email, IMing my homies, and surfing the web. I love it and a friend of mine put me on to some software that can be downloaded. One was called Worldmate. That shyt is hot too. You can book hotel rooms, check the weather, check available flights, basically anything that has to do with traveling. Does anyone else know of any software for the Blackberry Curve?

One step closer to relocating

Ok, so I go take the State Board CNA test for North Carolina on January 31st. Im soooo nervous. And my entire relocation process is sort of depending on it,lol. Anywho, I should be straight. I mean the test isnt hard or anything but you know how when you get nervous and you start fuckin' up shit accidently? I hate that. But Im just counting down the days until I go to North Carolina to take the test. I'll probably be updating my status up until the 31st and thereafter. Imma be mad as hell if I dont pass it but Im a firm believer of everything happening for a reason.

Has anyone ever had something happen to them that they didnt expect or want to happen but it ended up being for the better anyway?

Man Problems?

So I was texting my friend earlier today and aparently she's going through some man problems. Now Ive just recently been through "it" with I guy I thought I was in love with (womp womp glad to say thats a wrap) so I kind of consider myself an expert on love,lol. So, anyway the guy shes dating isnt acting like a real boyfriend to her. They havent had sex in months, he's always hanging out with his friends, and sometimes he goes without calling her. Now, I say "ok, fuck him move on. Its obvious he really doesnt want to be in a relationship" but she's not hearing that. She basically says she's going to keep him around and use him for rides and that it feels good to have someone she can call her boyfriend. Girl BYE! Please! From my own experience, I feel like she's wasting her time. OK yeah she claims she's just using him for rides but yet and still she continues to complain about him not giving her any attention (bewildered??).

So I've come to a revelation:

I believe if your're not getting what you want or feel you deserve out of a relationship LET IT GO! I wasted almost a year and a half on a guy who I KNEW wasnt right. It was a huge mistake on my behalf but you live and you learn.

Been gone for a minute but Im back

Today I got my first real paycheck (considering Ive only been working for about three weeks now) and I must admit that I was quite pleased with it. I guess my job isn't so bad afterall especially since there are millions of people out there WITHOUT jobs.

Spur of the Moment New Years resolution #2: Be more grateful.

I cant say that I am an ungratful person because I'm definitely not, but I really need to start being grateful for the simple things like being able to get up and have a job to go to and money in my pocket.

"Hate My Job" day

Everyone has them. Some days you love it, other days "its ok", and most days its "I hate this damn job!" unless you have a career that you really enjoy but we're not talking about careers, we're talking about jobs!lol. My job is ok. Im a CNA and I just started working at this nursing home. The people I work with are cool but the residents (aka the old people that live there) are rude as hell sometimes! I guess its acceptable because most of them are old as hell and senile but damn old lady, get a grip! Dont get mad at me because you can barely walk or because your family hasn't been in to visit you since you got here!.............yall, im getting a little ahead of myself and Im kinda wrong for saying that but dammit its the truth! If only the money wasnt as good as it is,lol.............Does anyone else ever have a "Hate My Job" day?

Charlotte, North Carolina anyone?

This has to be one of my biggest goals of the year- to relocate. I've been here in Harrisburg, Pa my entire life and I'm sick of it. Not only is it boring here but so many bad things have happened here that i need a change of environment. From my father passing to having to let some fake ass friends go, its definitely time for a new scenary. Harrisburg is cool if your're not originally from here but for someone who has been here their entirely lifetime- not so much. First of all, there is absolutely nothing to do here- no civilized hangout spots or decent clubs. Its boring, point blank. Its just a small city that steals their styles and identities from every other well known city and the one thing that I refuse to let happen is for me to get stuck here. There are so many people that live here that have graduated from high school only to be here doing nothing but gossiping about the same shit that happened 10 years ago. Its ridiculous and only a true harrisburgian person would actually understand what im talking about.
Anyway, Ive been doing alot of research on different locations throughout the country and have decided to visit Charlotte, N.C. Ive heard alot of great things about Charlotte and it was rated one of the best relocation cities in America. I hear its really geared towards people looking to raise families but Ive also heard it was great for young people also.
But there is a problem. I have family here that I don't really associate with so relocating with fear of having to leave my family isn't an issue. However, I do have a sister who has two small children and I'd hate to leave them here by themselves. But my sister is the type who is content with what she has and is afraid of change. I am the complete opposite. I want to move on, explore different areas of the country and the world! But she isnt interested in doing that. What should I do? Should I stay here with her and just convince her to come with me? Or should I just go on without her? I know deep down, that my father would have wanted us to stay together but I can't go through life standing in one place because someone else isn't trying to move along with me. What do you think?

10 things I want to STAY in 2008

The year 2009 is here and I'm glad because 2008 SUCKED ass for me. I couldnt wait for this year to be over and there were alot of things in 2008 that I would like to DIE or vanish before this 2009 year kicks off. Here is my list:

1. Soulja Boy- What a clown this coon is. Yes I admit "Superman that ho" was hot until I found out what the hell it meant. Besides, with ignorant comments like "Shout out to all the slave masters" his 15 minutes of fame need to hurry the hell up and be over with.

2. All of these different color ass weaves, especially blonde if your're an African American female. Its cool if you were born with it but not so hot if you were not.

3. Lil Wayne- Can we say overrated? I won't front, "Lollipop" was cool at first but after maturing a little and really listening to the lyrics as opposed to just the beat- BOO. Boy sit down. He has become extremely annoying. I cant even listen to the entire T-Pain song "Chopped and Screwed" because his annoying ass gets on the track at the end and starts spewing a bunch of bull shit that I can't even understand.......

4. Speaking of T-Pain, his new look must DIE. I understand artists trying to be different but seriously, you look like a damn fool and a coon.

5. The saggy pants and oversized shirt look on men. Haven't we already established that saggy pants = "I wanna get fucked in the ass"? Its not cute anymore guys. Put a damn belt on and buy a shirt that actually FITS!

6. Cornrows on both men and women. Especially men! I dont know why cornrows irk me so much now. I guess its just something Im sick of seeing. STOP!

7. This "Im ghetto and proud of it" Phonomenon. It was cool in the 90's and early 2000's but seriously you guys, lets get our attitudes together and start acting like cilvilized people without getting our panties all in a bunch when we think someone is looking at us funny.

8. 16,17, and 18 year old girls having babies. I cant even begin to tell you how many girls I graduated with from High School that ended up getting pregnant.

9. Sarah Palin. Why the fuck is this chick even still relevant? She has already proven herself to be an air head. Is this what America really finds interesting?

10. Wack rap music. Can Talib Kweli, Murs, Common, and others alike get a little more recognition?

Feel free to add to this list! And once again, Happy New Year!