Its not me its you................

Really? because in all actuality, I really do in fact think its you but I'm just saying its me to make the breakup a little easier..............

Did I confuse anyone with that random ass intro? Good, haha.

I was thinking about this after having a brief textvo (textvo= text conversation) with my ex. He randomly texted me out of the blue the other day and asked:

"On a scale of 1 to 10, compared to the sex you get now, how would you have rated me in bed?"

My response:

"a 5.....a 6.5 when you were drunk." <
So anyway, he goes on and he's asking me if I'm in a relationship (I tell him yes even though Im really not) and he's asking me questions and being nosy about everything. I definitely should have ended the textvo early in the probing but I didn't. He has this manipulative way about him and I can never seem to break away once Ive been engaged. So anyway, he asks me if I miss him and I say NO. So then he goes on to say, "well that's fine, but just know that this current relationship wont last and he'll eventually break your heart and you'll want me back.So just remember all the shit you texted me..........."

And that was it. I was baffled. And I had so badly wanted to know why he would say my "current" relationship wouldn't last......was it something he knew about myself that I didn't? Then I started thinking, maybe it was me....... he was my first serious relationship and even still the relationship only lasted a little under two years. The rest have lasted 1 or 2 months. And Ive also noticed that I have a hard time continuing interest in someone. Its weird and its definitely NOT normal. And he's mentioned something about my future relationships not lasting a while ago when we together but I didnt pay him any mind........but now he's got me wondering.

There is always an underlining reason or cause of something and perhaps there is a reason why i have yet to be in a successful relationship that lasts longer than two years...........*shrug* im not worried about it......i have too much going on right now to even be thinking about being in a relationship. Between school and work, i barely have time for friends....however, if im 30 and im still not in a stable relationship or married THEN I know I have a problem! Playing the field is cool for now, but i would hate to be some bitter 30 year old woman whining about not being married. *shivers at the possibility*

Ugh....i hate my ex.

Riddle Me This.......

So I was over at one of my favorite blogs, youknowyoudeadazzwrong, and there was a post Mo put up that portrayed a very.......interesting looking female in a wedding dress, and I as I was reading the comments I noticed that a couple of the chicks were commenting and basically asking how the hell was she getting wifed up looking the way that she does when they're cute and havent even gotten a porposal yet?lol. So I emailed the link to my homegirl and she's like "wow, and I bet her husband is attractive. Why the hell am I still single? Im sexy, independant, and make my own money." And a lot of females feel like this. We look at some women that are with handsome or attractive men and think "how in the hell did she get him?"lol. Hell we are ALL guilty of it. But what we fail to realize is that maybe its us. And I dont necessarily mean that in a bad way but as my friend was saying how she couldnt understand why SHE was still single because of how independant and attractive she was, something had suddenly caught my attention. Not one time did she state how much of a kind, giving, respectble, sincere, and honest person she was (all of which are true). All she basically did was speak on her material worth. It it amazed me because yes I believe a lot of men do in fact like independant women but if your own car and money is the only thing your're bringing to the table, then what? It was as if she felt entitled to have a man who wants to marry her soley based off of material worth and that should never be the case. A woman should feel like she deserves a man because of her good heart and her readiness to have an actual meaningful relationship. Not because of what she has. Besides, flaunting all our material possesions around may get us caught up in a relationship where the man starts to take advantage. I see it all the time on Judge Mathis, some chick loaned her boyfriend $500. He says it was a gift, she said it was a loan- even though we all know that it only became a loan AFTER they broke the hell up,lol. Yall Im just rambling and its all just food for thought,lol. But fellas what do you think? Is a woman's Independant-NESS(yes, I know that is not a word)what initially attracts you to a female next to her looks? Would a woman who has her own be enough to make you want to propose?lol.